Maybe I'm a wuss after all. I thought I had a really high pain tolerance...
So it all started with Pitocin and for 7.5 hours nothing happened! I was rocking out on a birthing ball and just waiting and waiting...one centimeter. So finally they decide to break my water. Ok, I heard in the past that it felt "a little uncomfortable". Rrrrrright. KILLED!
But soon after the contractions came on STRONG. Ok, so my sister was in labor at the same time and she was a four and not feeling anything. I got to a three and WANTED TO DIE! Am I pathetic or was it the extra strong contractions from Pitocin? They actually turned it down TWICE because they said my contractions were off the charts. Lovely. Thanks guys.
So I was in agony for a few hours and then the epidural came. Sweet nectar of the Gods. That's all I have to say about that :)
As for pushing...the nurse kept telling me to push harder and not from my head (which was turning purple). Well, guess what? I was pushing so hard I was ALSO throwing up. Imagine the fun. So I'd push and then turn my head to the side and throw up. I can't imagine pushing any harder than I was. I mean, seriously.
They had a mirror up so I could see everything which was actually incredible. They thought it would help motivate me. Well, so much for that nurse...I pushed a 9 pounder 1 ouncer out in 45 minutes. Then it was all over. I'm a little sad that I couldn't quite grasp the intensity of the final moments because I was so nauseated but at the same time, I'll never forget it. Kris had a camera in one hand and a video camera in the other. Hahaha. So I have those first moments captured forever. I used to think those alien-squished hospital pics were gross but seeing my son's very first breath of life captured forever? Majestic.
When he opened his big, beautiful eyes it seriously took my breath away.
P.S. The past few days have been...how can I even describe this? Some moments so tender and sacred they are for my journal and my husband only. Some moments so frustrating and scary and overwhelming it seems like every day is an eternity. One week ago today, it all began. I'm just trying to take in a day at a time.
P.P.S. LOVE my son and LOVE my husband...more than ever.